Virginity

6.2.5 "irginity

6.4 A Zulu Christian Theology of Marriage

6.4.6 Virginity

There were times in the history of the Church where virginity for the sake of the kingdom was seen as a state that was superior to marriage. This state of virginity was also termed 'white martyrdom'. Today the Church sees virginity and marriage as a call from God to different life-styles. Itdoes not exalt virginity above

marriage. The Churchhasmany saints who are honoured as virgins. They lived chaste lives for the sake of the kingdom. The exposition of saints in the Church as living their lives for the 'sake ofthe kingdom' undermined the need for people to live chaste lives for the sake of social relationships and life in the community. To make virginity important for the sake of the next life

is

a good value for the

20Matthew: 19:3-8.

spirituality of a person. There is a need now to balance this other-worldliness, with the theology of virginity for this life. An emphasis needs to be made for the

importance of virginity prior to marriage, for a mature relationship and for a good self-concept. This

will

necessitate that theology, in trying to highlight the

importance of virginity for this life, should show the normal life of the virgin saints, how they struggled with their sexuality and their failures too.

The importance of virginity among the Hebrews is highlighted by Collins, quoting

Summa Theologiae,

Ill, 68,11, when he states that:

The virginity of a bride was higWy prized among the descendants of the Hebrews. In this respect the words ofPhilo are significant: "We, the

descendants of the Hebrew, have excellent customs and laws. Other nations allow their young men of foUrteen years of age to go to prostitutes and other women who sell their bodies. But according to our laws, all hetairas are condemned to die. Until there can be legitimate relations, we do not have intercourse with a woman. Both parties enter marriage as virgins (1986: 186).

One ofthe ways of destroying one's virginity is through masturbation. Masturbation is sometimes called solitary sin, or onanism, which refers to the avoidance of

conception in sexual unions. People like Haering (1996) see masturbation as contradicting the natural finality of sex, which is directed to the partner of the opposite sex. It is theologically incorrect to encourage young people to masturbate.

As earlier discussed,

Humanae Vitae

(1968) sees masturbation as a deviation from

the finality of the marital act. The marital act is seen as having two dimensions,

namely, the unitive dimension, which unites husband and wife, and the procreative

dimension, which capacitates the couple for the generation of new life. There is a

need to form young people to have other ways of enjoying each other's company

without having sex.

It

is true that there was a time when masturbation was just not

discussed in the Church.

It

is only in the development of the theology of human

sexuality that the Church started prohibiting masturbation. This implies a need for

the Church to educate and encourage young people to do things together with their

partners that enhance their growth and their trust of one another. This positive

alternative

will

give direction to the longings of young people and help them to

channel their energies towards worthwhile activities. This would be a practice in

concentrating on loving the other, developing friendships, mutual understanding and

getting to know each other deeper. Young people

will

now be convinced that there is much more to a relationship than sex. Such an approach would be useful and needed in counteracting the need to have secret relationships, which are themain cause for so many unwanted pregnancies, thus enhancing spiritual and

psychological growth. This is a huge responsibility that demands adequate

knowledge, maturity and decisiveness from the young person. For Haering (1996) virginity is a witness to the dynamic dominion of God's love and the total

submission to His undivided love. Virginity reminds the Church that the terrestrial is not the ultimate reality. This value of virginity that is undennined by the print and electronic media, is a value that is an exercise in virtue and self-control.Itis not only a call for those who want to live consecrated lives.Itis a call for every person, in all walks of life.

A Zulu Christian theology would have to note the incompatibility that exists between the Zulu traditional approach to virginity and the Christian approach. This traditional approach concentrated a lot on physical virginity. Itwould be essential that the Zulu theology goes further than that, and teaches the value of spiritual virginity. This would include values like purity of mind and heart, chastity and single-mindedness in one's way of life. The importance of this spiritual approach lies in the fact that it would be a value for every member of society. Both male and female would be able to live it out. Itis unacceptable that physical virginity is expected of women only. To demand virginity from the woman only makes women feel that they live chaste lives just for the sake of the edification of men. This approach would also help to avoid the pressure that is put on women for physical virginity. Such a demand on women is uncalled for as some women lose their virginity through no fault of their own. Spiritual virginity would apply to both men and women, and hence an equal treatment of both men and women. The idea of second virginity would feature more prominently. It would convey the idea of forgiveness and the need to make a fresh start in one's life. The idea of a young woman, losing her virginity, and still having a chance to live a chaste life again, is a powerful symbol of a God who forgives all the time, and gives His people a chance of repentance. A young woman should never be made a wife before ilobolo is paid.

Virginity illustrates the need for a total and open commitment for sexual intercourse to have its proper meaning. Such a demand for virginity would highlight the beauty

of procreation in marriage. Procreation would be worth waiting for, as it would seal the love of husband and wife.

It

would also be a sign of their total self-giving to one another. Such a self-giving would have trust and fidelity as its basis. All sexual activities would occur between the husband and the wife and there would be no place for masturbation, or any other forms of sexual activities that would exclude a partner of the opposite sex.

Virginity is highly prized by both Zulu culture and Christian theology.

It

is seen as

highlighting the importance of integrity and chastity. A Zulu Christian theology

would need to appreciate the Zulu notion of virginity and challenge it to a higher

ideal, which are not only physical virginity but spiritual virginity also. This would

be a way of life that is concerned with chastity as encompassing one's whole

existence.