7.4 C ATEGORIES DISCLOSING THE CHARACTERISTICS OF BEING THE PARENT OF AN
7.4.3 ADHD and the school experience
7.4.3.1 School placement
7.4.3 ADHD and the school experience
Beth first sent Eve to a small private school. For Grade 2, Eve went to a school where they catered for children with special needs. Beth had to remove Eve that same year, because she was being sexually harassed. Eve then went into a government school and was put into the aid class. The teacher told Beth that Eve had to go on Ritalin or leave. From the government school, Eve moved to another small private school. Eve then landed up at a cottage school with a teacher who is a qualified remedial teacher. The teacher emigrated and Eve then went to a home school. At the end of Eve’s Grade 5 year, the teacher decided to close the school, and Eve moved to, and is still at, an assisted learning school.
In Grade 00, Doug was already “noticeably more immature” than the other children in his class. When the time came to go to primary school, Gill and Dylan did not send him to the primary school his older sister goes to, but put him straight into the private special needs school affiliated to the primary school. Michelle “really struggled” to find a school for Gary, as he is also vision-impaired. They eventually found a little pre-school that was government run. Gary did not cope there “at all”, but had to stay there for a year until Michelle and Matthew managed to move to a city with a school for vision-impaired children. Helen attends the local government primary school.
Both of Carrie’s boys went to a government primary school and are now in a government high school. Rose had Eugene in a government primary school and a mainstream private school for high school. Rose does not agree with changing schools unnecessarily: “We decided that if at all possible we would stick with the school of choice and rather help Eugene adjust to the school, it’s teachers, it’s pupils and the parents.”
The actual moving of schools can also be stressful for the child and the entire family.
When Brenda moved Conor from his mainstream private school to the private assisted learning school it was hard for both of them:
“And I think he thought there was something wrong with him – that he was stupid. And he wanted to know why he had left all his friends and gone to another school. You know it was really, it was very hard for me and it was hard for him.”
If the school placement is not successful, life for parents is quite stressful. The idea did come through in a number of interviews, however, that no school is a perfect placement and the parent has to decide what the priorities are with regard to the
child’s placement. Conor himself doesn’t “have any complaints” about his school at present. Brenda is not as happy. She questions whether she has put her son in the right school, because he is surrounded by children who have “bigger problems” –
“physical…emotional and mental”. The neurologist has said that Conor is not ready to mainstream yet. So, even though she in not happy with the school, Brenda feels she has to “persevere” as there is no other school she can get him into.
Belinda is very sceptical about Evan’s high school and she admits that every year they’ve “thought of taking him out”. Belinda feels the school is “too slack” and Evan himself, at times, has felt that. They’ve now decided that “it’s too late” in his school career to change schools again and have had to “just leave it”. Belinda and Rob are also very reluctant to move Evan from the assisted learning environment “because in the other systems he might slip and no one would pick it up”.
Aidan is in a mainstream private school. Sandy admits: “In my heart, I don’t think his school is the right school for children who battle”. Although it is a “good school” it is
“highly academic” and they expect a lot from the children.
Rose believes that when dealing with the school, parents must realise that whatever school they choose “it will never be perfect”. “Also parents must realise that they will have to monitor the progress of their child and the school the whole way.”
Some parents have very definite ideas on putting the ADHD child into an assisted learning or remedial environment. At the stage when a decision had to be made on whether to keep Kim back, and Lynn was still battling at school, the principal told Mia that she “might need to look for remedial schooling, this may not be the place for them”. Mia felt she was “not prepared” to put them in a remedial school unless she had “done everything”. If she had exhausted all therapy options and she still found the girls were unhappy and not coping, she would “hang up her gloves” and “gladly look elsewhere”. Mia believes that once “they start at a school like that, they will never mainstream again”. Mia also believes that though the girls “battle”, they “learn from it”.
Zelda does not believe in putting ADHD children in a remedial school because “often they don’t have any remedial problems or anything.” She believes that putting an ADHD child among children with problems is going to “highlight all these problems and that’s not good. You’re going to tell them they’re different in a bad way.”
Carrie has never wanted to send her boys to a remedial school and does not believe it would do “anything for them”. It would only be an option “if they were really not coping within a normal school environment”. Carrie feels she has seen “too many children who do the remedial school route”.
“They struggle at school, and by the time they leave the normal school their confidence is down. They are way behind on their work and they go to a remedial school. And eventually they slot in, they fit in, and they love it – everybody is on a par with them; it’s cool. And then the school says no actually you have gone as far as you can go. You are ready for mainstream again. And once again, within a little while, they are back to square one.”
Reasons for moving a child involved academic issues, but also behavioural issues, including potential expulsion from school or daycare. Brenda moved Conor to assisted learning environment for academic reasons. She was told that Conor would
“never make Grade 1, and he must go to a remedial school”. Marie and Leon took Johan out of his school to home school him because he was always in trouble at school, including with the headmaster.